Dan's Papers - April 4, 2008

Well, spring has sprung and many of the city people are looking forward to getting back to nature by coming out here to the East End. There's all our farmland and woods, beaches and hills, ponds and lakes, and it's all very exciting.

Who can ever forget, for example, the gypsy moth outbreaks of 1982, 1989, 2000 and 2001? Nobody knew how to get rid of them, though we do know that they die under an onslaught of heavy rain. The gypsy moths hatch into worms from larvae, climb trees and eat all the leaves, thus leaving the tree to die, and then molt into moths and fly around sometimes in great numbers that blot out the sky. In 2001, the last time they were here, they swept through Northwest and North Haven.

There was a big inchworm infestation in the trees last year. They really damaged all the hardwood trees.

And who can forget the jellyfish outbreak of 2002? The attack was felt worst among the surfer community. Many surfers got bad stings. But the jellyfish did not come back in 2003 and haven't been seen since. Hopefully this year will be another year without them.

Brown Tide, which is made of hundreds of trillions of bits of algae, arrive in droves and turn the surf a ghastly brown and red color, which is not something you'd like to swim in. But the Brown Tide hasn't been here since 1990 and before that 1983 and 1984. It covers beaches on the bay side for miles and miles and for months and months. You wouldn't dare swim in it. Scientists have never been able to figure out what causes it.

A rarity here is the Portuguese Man-O-War, but we did see a few of them on our beaches in 1998 and 1999. They look like little blue balloons on the beach, but if you step on them they give you a nasty sting. Treat it with ice. Or go to the emergency room.

There was a black widow spider outbreak in Northwest last year. We hope we don't see them again. But last year we also began to see brown recluse spiders in those woods. There have been only a few sightings. But they seem to be on the upswing. Both are poisonous, with the black widow in damp places outside and the reclusive inside, perhaps in basements.

Years ago we had fearful carpenter ant epidemics, but that ended around 1950. If they do come back, sprinkle Borax on your house foundation.

The kind of tick that was most prevalent out here last year, and will surely be in more abundance this year, is the Lone Star Tick identifiable by its white spots. It's about as prevalent now as a deer tick and causes the usual diseases such as Lyme, Tick Fever and Babiosis. If you think you have been bitten by a tick, get to a doctor right away for a course of antibiotics. Meanwhile, put drops of Frontline on the backs of your dogs.

Who can forget the pride of mountain lions that moved into the Pine Barrens north of Westhampton in the late 1980s and began foraging in the woods there? Many were trapped by hunters, but it wasn't until the great Sunrise fires of 1995 that they seemed to either have burnt up or run away.

2006 was a bad year for shark sightings in the Hamptons, but 2007 was better. There's no way to predict what will happen this year.

There are still those among us who remember the ladybird beetles that attacked in massive amounts at swimming holes in Hampton Bays in 1951, biting swimmers and causing them to get strange welts.

The Japanese beetle infestations a few years ago have subsided, but there's a new danger of turpentine beetles, which are eating up all our Japanese black pine trees. Also the nematode, a special beetle that burrows itself into our potato crop, seems to be on the upswing this year.

Incidences of head lice have also subsided in the last few years, but there has been an increase in the number of Chiggers, which seem to have arrived here in winged migrations from the Midwest and Canada during the winter of 2006-7. There's also been a suspicion of a bedbug infestation, but nobody's been able to document it.

Seems like it's going to be a bad year for mold.

Giant carpenter bees, almost the size of your fist, will appear in June and July, hovering near plants and flowers or even you. They are curious creatures. And they don't bite. But they can be frightening.

In the plant world, the battle to the death by various species continues as a big problem. You know that phragmites, a native bamboo-like plant from Eastern Europe, has taken over from much of our native versions along the edges of our ponds.

Also moving in this year is mugwort, a really ugly looking plant that has slowly been spreading out from Nassau County and Queens since the 1970s. It was seen in Montauk last year. Garlic Mustard has become a big problem. It secretes a goo that kills native plants. And there has been a big increase in Japanese Knot Weed and Russian Olive. Poison Ivy was a bad problem last year and it looks like a repeat for this year. It's a virtual vegetable genocide out there. If you listen carefully, you'll hear them mewling.

Batura, which is a hallucinogenic plant that also goes by the name of Ginseng Weed, has been seen on the sides of the road along Route 114 between East Hampton and Sag Harbor. Look for a big plant with a white flower.

And Salvia divinorum, a horrible creature, has been moving up from the southwest having skipped over the border from Mexico a few years ago, and is now heading for the East Coast, with at least one plant discovered here on Long Island.

Last week, Suffolk County made it a crime to either possess, eat or smoke Salvia dinorum (also known as Diviner's Sage) because of its hallucinogenic powers. It grows to be three feet high, has large green leaves, hollow square stems and an occasional white and purple flower. Be on the lookout for it. In January 2006, a 17-year-old Delaware student committed suicide because of it.

Deer have maintained a continuing presence here, in spite of the annual hunt during the late autumn. Drive slowly, and, especially at night, occasionally honk your horn, because they do tend to trot out into the road and try to climb into your backseat. Fortunately, they usually fail.

The National Weather Service in Boulder, Colorado is predicting a more than active hurricane season for the East Coast this year, with the possibility of seven major storms.

There was a tornado reported in Bridgehampton in 1994. Flooding shut down many of the roads in the Hamptons in August of 1986.

And with the polar ice cap melting, perhaps one of those giant white killer polar bears will get swept down to the East End of Long Island. He will be pissed.

Maybe the best thing, especially for city people who have homes here, is to just stay indoors all summer with the doors locked.

There's plenty of takeout, there's air conditioning if you can afford it, and some restaurants offer home delivery.