Dan's Papers -March 27, 2009

I was at the Montauk St. Patty's Day Parade last Sunday and just couldn't get over the community spirit and positive energy there. Everybody was all smiles as we enjoyed a get together at my house after the parade, and friends were over talking eating and drinking.

I snuck off into my bedroom to relax for a minute and noticed that the television was on, and was then zapped by the advertising gods in New York City. It was the new McDonald's Filet-O-Fish commercial. You know the one, it has two guys meeting each other inside of a garage and one guy is sitting down on a chair. Both guys are sporting some serious beards, and all of the sudden, the Billy Bass mounted on the wall comes to life and starts singing, "Give me all that Filet-O-Fish, give me that fish!" and you can't help but get sucked in. The song is so awesome it's ridiculous. You have no idea why you like the song, since it is so basic and weird, but they are like scientists over there in the advertising world, and for whatever reason, you absolutely have to get yourself a Filet-O-Fish.

"I need a Filet-O-Fish!" I declared to the room.

I said this after I found myself dancing on top of my bed to the McDonald's Filet-O-Fish commercial, shaking my hips and pointing my fingers in the air to the music in the most embarrassing display of human rhythm to have ever happened in the entire universe.

Who the heck would ever in their right minds want to eat a Filet-O-Fish from McDonald's? Is it even fish? Am I crazy? Why does this advertisement work so well?

In my entire life, I have never once ordered a Filet-O-Fish from McDonald's. I have enjoyed Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese, I've even eaten an entire box of 20-piece Chicken McNuggets without any hesitation, but a Filet-O-Fish? That's just gross. But thanks to this commercial, a Filet-O-Fish just makes a lot of sense to eat. HOW COULD I NOT ORDER A Filet-O-Fish AT MCDONALD'S?

Here at the Dan's Papers office, there is not a single employee who hasn't fallen in love with the Filet-O-Fish commercial. "My Dad tells everyone in the house to be quiet and turn up the television when the commercial comes on," said Genevieve Salamone in the production department.

Even Joel Rodney, also known as DJ Biggie De Black Rhino, an unbelievably amazing DJ in the Hamptons and in New York City, played me a techno song that incorporates the Filet-O-Fish song into music that could be played at a night club. "Dude, you have to get me that song! That's amazing."

"Let's make a You Tube video with it," he suggested.

How can it be possible that this kind of advertisement works so well? As far as I'm concerned, there hasn't been an ad like this since the Budweiser frogs hit the scene, and that was probably 10 years ago.

I headed back into the living room as everybody was debating on what restaurant to eat at and all I could think about was a disgusting Filet-O-Fish. I felt like Homer Simpson, "Must have Filet-O-Fish."

Was I really going to do my best to convince our designated driver to take all of us to Southampton so that I could selfishly eat a Filet-O-Fish, and do a little dance while eating it? Was I really going to bring all of these good people, who traveled from as far as Philadelphia, away from their mini-Montauk vacation? I couldn't do it. But I got to tell you, I really, really thought about it.

In the end, we ended up at Harvest restaurant and ate more pasta than a human should be legally allowed to . But I'm eyeing a Filet-O-Fish for lunch because, you know what? If it were you that was hanging up that wall, you wouldn't be happy, no you wouldn't at all.