Dan's Papers - March 28, 2008

There comes a time as a parent when you realize how good you had it before. When your child learns that there is more than one TV channel, you long for the days of watching the quirky, gentle "Oswald" and the heady "Maggie and the Ferocious Beast." When the baby learns to walk, you appreciate how wonderful it was when he was satisfied strapped into his bouncy chair. When he starts to eat real food, you long for the simple days of opening jars of organic baby food - no fuss, no muss, no guilt. But one of the rudest awakenings comes when the baby is around 2 (18 months in our son's case), when you realize that your days of civilized dining have come to an end.

Up until then, my partner and I would time our dinners with our son's naps. He'd fall asleep in the car on the way to the restaurant, where we'd plunk the baby car seat on a chair or the floor while we ate and he napped. But the naps got shorter - as did the dinners. Then came the high chairs and plastic bags and containers, as well as the challenge of choosing just the right toy to keep him busy for 45 minutes.

The coup de grace occurred at Della Femina. With a 5-foot high fireplace, maybe it isn't the best place to bring a two-year-old who refuses to sit in a high chair. My partner and I took turns keeping him away from the fireplace. Then came my moment of truth. Standing at the table, holding him in one arm, and grabbing a piece of flank steak off the plate with my bare hands. The truth? Time to hire a babysitter.

It wasn't until he was almost three that we ventured out again. But we learned our lesson. No more rushed $100 meals. We were clear on the requisites: good food and a decent wine list for us; something on the menu he'd eat; distractions; a sufficient noise level for toddlers who will probably cry and older kids who tend to talk loudly. So, beyond pizza joints and diners, here are a few recommendations from East End families.

Margaret and Ken Fowler of East Hampton take James, 4, and Patrick, 2, to dinner once every couple weeks. "Our favorite is definitely Cittanuova," Margaret said. "They have those little twizzly sticks for the kids to play with - and high chairs. You can get pizza, pasta half portions - they'll do anything for kids. The boys go nuts over the risotto and the chicken milanese." The Fowlers also like La Parmagiana in Southampton - a favorite of this writer for Italian home cooking. "It's casual and loud, so our loud kids blend in," said Margaret, "and they get the food out fast."

Jennifer Brew, a real estate agent at Brown Harris Stevens, and her husband Kieran have a clear favorite when dining with their 5-year old son, Richie. "The Meeting House in Amagansett is number one," said Jennifer. "They have that big lawn outside where the kids can run around - and they even supply Frisbees, soccer balls and baseballs. In the summer, you can watch the kids as you have dinner on the porch. Oh - and there's a great kid's menu."

Personally, I put my money down at Rowdy Hall in East Hampton and Townline BBQ in Wainscott. Rowdy is, well, rowdy. The menu is good for kids, staff is SOOOOO child tolerant - crayons hit the table before menus - and the food and drink are great for adults. No compromises. But I have a special place in my heart for Townline. On lonely winter Saturdays when my partner was working, Hudson and I moseyed on down for some BBQ chicken and amazing french fries. The main room is big - perfect for an active little boy to get his yayas out. And when no one was looking, we'd sneak into the bar area to play pool and watch whatever sport was on the screen. It's as close to a Chuckie Cheese's as I ever plan to get - which is to say, very, very far.