Dan's Papers - March 28, 2008 - Hydroponics - It Works for Tomatoes, Too?

I can remember being in elementary school and hearing that scientists had figured out a way to grow plants without sunlight or soil. I remember laughing. And then I remember taking a trip with my second grade class to a science center that had such plants on display. They had successfully grown a watermelon the size of my 8-year-old body. A nice woman in a lab coat sliced it up and let our class devour it. I was shocked that it tasted like watermelon's supposed to taste - juicy and sweet and not a single seed. My mind was blown.

Technology has come along way since the mid-'90s and not just for televisions and computers. In the past few years there have been substantial breakthroughs in the world of hydroponics. Hydroponics, you might ask, isn't that the stuff stoner's use to cultivate high quality marijuana? Yes, but it's not just for your local neighborhood Cheech and Chong anymore. That's right, hydroponics have broken the suburban wall, making it safe for soccer moms everywhere to indulge their inner green thumbs all year round.

Gardeners know how harsh the winter can be on their plants. With minimal sunlight and frigid temperatures, winter is obviously not the ideal time to muck around in the garden. That is, however, unless you are using one of the home ready hydroponic kits to recently hit the market. Thanks to NASA proven space age technology, new AeroGardens can successfully grow fresh food with only a bit of air and some water. Using their patented "aeroponic" technology, the AeroGarden utilizes "a dirt-free growing method where plant roots are suspended in air within a 100% humidity, highly-oxygenated growing chamber."

One of the advantages to the AeroGarden is that plants grow faster than they do in a natural soil base garden. The AeroGarden showers the plant's roots in "ideal levels of nutrients, water and oxygen" which functions as a natural growth stimulator. Think of it as a gardener's version of HGH - without the 'roid rage.

One might think that an indoor hydroponic or aeroponic garden is sure to use a lot of electricity. After all, isn't that how police always bust illegal marijuana grow houses - whose electric bills are nearly quadruple the average household? Not the case with the AeroGarden, which uses less energy than a single 60-watt light bulb.

Besides energy, one of the concerns I've heard about the AeroGarden is that people are worried it may take up too much space. To that I say "Bologna!" The AeroGarden's measurements are 16" long by 10 1/2" wide by 15 1/2" high with the lights at the lowest possible setting, and 21" high with the lights at the highest level."

The size makes it ideal for urbanites with no backyard or a minimal amount of space and a desire for fresh herbs and produce. Imagine having fresh homegrown organic basil and off the vine tomatoes as hors d'oeuvres at your next dinner party. Personally, I'd buy one just to make myself look cooler. Picture this: you're mingling over cocktails and entertaining guests, showing off your music collection and making small talk about the books on your shelf. One of your guests takes a bite of your fresh bruschetta. "Mmmm," she says, "this is delicious. Where did you get it?"

It's homemade, you say.

"No, you've got to be kidding."

You take her hand and lead her into the kitchen. Ripe tomatoes and fresh herbs adorn the kitchen counter.

"Where do you buy your produce?" she says. Again, you take her by the hand and lead her into the bedroom. You point at the floor near the head of the bed where a black, glorified version of a lava lamp sits gently next to the wall, overflowing with vines.

"This is the basil. And over here is my next harvest of tomatoes."

Now I'm not saying you need to buy an AeroGarden in order to impress women, but I know they'll be impressed. The fact of the matter is if you really want fresh produce for salads and fresh herbs for seasoning, there is really no better way to get them than by using the AeroGarden. I just wish someone would send me one. Then I could impress some women.